Book Review from The Four Agreements

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz Part I - Be Impeccable with Your Word Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

This means avoiding gossip, lies, empty promises and other ways we cause problems with our words. Say only what you mean, and realize that you can cause damage if you're not careful with what you say. Even a white lie falls under this agreement as it is not the truth. This is not to say you are to be blunt and rude with your words, toward others or about yourself, but thoughtful and considerate instead. Remember, whatever you put out into the Universe will come back to you in some form so why not send positive, uplifting words instead?

Gossip - A person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others.

Reporting - Give a spoken or written account of something that one has observed, heard, done, or investigated.

There is a difference between gossiping and reporting - this is a great tool to use when learning to decipher our words.  Gossiping has an undermining flavor to it while reporting is neutral and sounds more like talking about the weather. 

Reporting: "Mary Ellen is looking for a new job".

Gossiping: "Mary Ellen is such a lazy slob that she won't find a new job".

See the difference?

The other day I was visiting someone and they were going on and on about this other person - how lazy they are, how they do not work.  Just as I changed the subject, this other person, who was being gossiped about, walked up and joined us!  My inner cosmic police officer was itching to say something but instead I finished up the conversation and left.  The woman gossiping got really quiet that's for sure.

Many of us do not realize the power of our words or see the harm that can be caused from speaking carelessly, thoughtlessly or aggressively about others.  A wonderful reminder: think about the words you plan to say and STOP if you know you wouldn't say it to the person if they were standing in front of you.